Thursday, October 27, 2011

Sorry for the Delay

I've been having off and on Issues with sims since installing Pets! I am working on trying to get the kinks out, but it's still acting up after a few minutes of game play, so I can't get pics -_-

So I haven't forgotten or stopped! Just ran into some issues :(

Smirk -

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Loser of the Year : Chapter 2.2

With graduation right around the corner and my grandmother out of town I couldn’t help but throw an all-night party. Even though I may have been labeled as an outcast, I knew no one would turn down a party invite. I was fidgety mostly because Lucus said he would love to come. Of course I knew Josh would show up so I was hoping like crazy there wasn’t going to be any issues. Also I for sure wanted to make a statement fashion wise, but with pretty much nothing to wear and hardly any friends with fashion sense I was out of luck. That is until I remember all those fancy clothes that were in my grandmothers dresser.

I was curious on what exactly what my grandma kept in them and hoped like crazy maybe something decent to wear. So I gladly took the liberty of helping myself through her dresser. My hands froze on a box that was labeled Lucy. Sucking in a breath I opened it to find it full of my mother’s jewelry. I couldn't bring myself to take any of the precious gems. Placing it aside it made me wonder if the contents of this part of the dresser was my mothers. Rummaging through it I smiled when I felt slinky fabric beneath my fingers. It was perfect. Trying my best I shoved everything back in the way they should have been and hoped my grandma wouldn’t even notice.

With the party starting up in a few hours, I primped and finally got dressed. I was glad that the dress fit perfectly showing off every curve that I had. Hopefully I didn’t look like I was trying too hard. When the first kids started to arrive Lucus walked in… with another girl. Why did even get my hopes up the he would actually be single. She was perfect in every way; glossy platinum blonde hair, perfect curves, and gorgeous blue eyes. Beating myself inside I plastered on a smile when he looked my way.

Half stopping in his tracks he looked me up and down once again and shook his head as if he thought he was dreaming. That’s a good thing right? The sudden urge to make him jealous peaked into my head when Josh walked through the door. Sure Josh was a creep on the level ten factors, but at least I knew he liked me.

Putting attitude in my hips I swayed past him and pretty much threw myself at Josh. Catching him off guard his eyes about bugged out of his eyes when he saw what I was wearing.
“Well look who finally came to their senses.” He smirked his typical smirk which made me want to gag. “Don’t you just look sassy tonight?” Wrapping his arm around my waist he led me to the couch.

I might be playing with fire, but it certainly got Lucus’ attention. Whenever I looked up from the conversation with Josh he was somewhere near by watching. Feeling slightly uncomfortable when Josh squeezed me closer I finally got a hint of his full intentions. He leaned over just as I looked at him and pressed his lips against mine.

Startled I jumped from his arms. “What do you think you’re doing?” I stepped back as he looked at me with utter confusion on his face.

“I thought you wanted to? You know you pretty much threw yourself at me right when I walked in the door. Sending a guy the wrong signals isn’t a good thing. Especially me.”

“You know what Josh? I only did it to make Lucus jealous okay. I like him not you. Get that through your head why don’t you? Now just get out of my house!”

I hadn’t realized that I drew the attention of the crowd until I heard everyone murmuring. Embarrassed I shook my head on the verge of tears and ran into my room. I didn’t really care if they stayed. I knew they would all leave when they wanted to. The pulsing beats of the music vibrated through my walls and I could hear people laughing on the other side.

Upset I leaned up against the door wishing they would all just shut up. I felt like an idiot as it was, and frankly I felt stupid for having my first kiss with Josh. I wanted to share that with someone special not some creep. A light knock on my door startled me making me jump out of my skin.
“Umm Kaybree, can I talk with you?” Not recognizing the voice I cracked the door open to reveal miss platinum blonde herself. Great what could she want? She probably wanted to cuss me out me out for crushing on her boyfriend.

“Yea I suppose.” I let her in and shut the door once again. “What do you want to talk about? It’s not like I don’t already feel stupid for saying I was crushing on your boyfriend.” She gave me an odd look and started to laugh.

“Kaybree, Lucus isn’t my boyfriend. Hun he’s just a really good friend of mine. I don’t go for guys anyways. My name’s Becca by the way.” Confused for a bit it hit me. She was a lesbian…. Plopping down on the bed next to her I smiled.

“So then why is it you wanted to talk to me?” She rolled her eyes at me and laughed again. Frustrated I rose my eyebrow at her and gave her my best just spit it out look.

“Okay, okay fine I’ll tell you. Kaybree, Lucus has a thing for. Heck he has since he first moved here at the beginning of high school. He’s one of those overly shy guys. Well that is until you get to know him. Then you just can’t get him to shut up.” My heart soared into my throat as she continued to talk. “But that’s beside the point. See here when he say Josh full on out kiss you on the couch he left. Upset might I add.” Feeling my heart fall back down I frowned.

“I ruin everything.” I sighed and she placed her hand on my shoulder. Maybe if I was more blunt on telling him I liked him or even gave him more signs then maybe that could have been him I was kissing on the couch.

“No you don’t hun, he wasn’t even aware you liked him. Though I had to stay back and get your side of things. I kind of got the hint you were trying to make him jealous, but he obviously didn’t. I suggest you text him or heck maybe even call him so you can sort things out.” The door slammed closed and she frowned. “Sounds like everyone just left.”
Shrugging I sighed.

“I don’t care.” She gave me a big hug and stood up. “Now you don’t be a stranger. You seem pretty chill, text me sometime okay?” She flipped a paper at me before she walked out of my bedroom door. Scratching my nose I peeked out in the living room to find everyone had left. Checking all the rooms to double check no one else was around I locked the door and dressed into my pjs. I was nervous, I didn’t want to seem to forward, so maybe I would just talk to him at graduation in a couple of days to let him cool off.

Monday, October 3, 2011

Gone to Soon: Chapter 2.1

I was told more than once that mom was a little off her rocker after my dad died. I remember her vaguely. Coming home seeing her face and excited that I would be able to see her. The last time I saw her was the first day of first grade. I came home excited telling her about my new friends, and asking her where my father was.

My grandma always told me that was the last thing that pushed her over the edge. Though I know there was more to it. She doesn’t know, but I found that note my mom wrote all those years ago. I still have it. Sometimes I wish I could see her again, but that isn’t going to happen. I’m hundreds of miles away in Hidden Springs. Closing my eyes I can still remember some of it.
You were everything to me this is why I have to leave. So sleep well my angel. Under all the ash and the lies something beautiful here now dies. And the tears burn my eyes as you sit there all alone. I’m sorry. Opening my eyes once again I sighed.

My mom didn’t realize that grandma had read the note shortly after she left to go to the beach. She was found just in time, and placed in a mental institution. I don’t know exactly what happened, but grandma wouldn’t let me see her after everything happened. She whisked me away in hope of erasing all the bad memories.

In a sense I’m kind of glad that I never got dragged into everything that had happened when I was little. I probably would have been made fun of, but well I still kind of am here. I may not be the most fashionable because my grandma doesn’t have spare cash to spend money on high fashion items. I guess maybe it could be because I’m a bit of a loner or a nerd. I stick to myself more than anything.

“Hey.” Josh lazily lay back on the wall giving me his typical bedroom eyes.
“Josh what do you want?” I sighed and rolled my eyes trying to make it obvious that I don’t want anything to do with him. Josh has always had a thing for me since I pretty much moved here. He was one of those cocky kids who thought they could get whatever they wanted.

“How are you doing?” Moving towards me he shook his eyebrows up and down. “You know what would look good on you?” His breath was hot on my cheek.
“Knock it off Josh.” I stepped back but he moved right along with me. Clasping my arm in his hand he intently looked into my eyes.

“Answer me?” His grip tightened on my arm as I struggled to get away from him.
“Josh you’re hurting me.” I pulled harder against his grip hoping his hands were sweaty enough to get loose.

“You know Josh maybe you should let go of her?” Startled we both looked over and see Lucus standing there with a determined look on his face. Lucus… he was the ultimate in dreamy. Though I didn’t really realize he even knew I existed. He was one of those goth or emo teens… or whatever it is you wanted to call them. And well me, I already said I was a class a loner slash nerd.

“Why should I? Are you going to make me?” Josh sneered as he dragged me to the side but making sure he didn’t release his grip.

“If I have to I will be more than happy to do so.” Cracking his knuckles he took another step forward. Sensing the fear in Josh’s body language he took another one.
“Fine whatever she’s all yours.” Mumbling under his breath he glared at me as he released my arm.

Sliding my hands through my hair I smirked at him. “Thanks Lucus.” Brushing off his shirt he closed the distance between us.

“No problem Kay. I can’t really stand it when women get treated badly like their some piece of meat.” Smiling he looked me up and down. “Plus you’re a pretty cool chick.”

I swallowed hard suddenly feeling nervous. “You really think that? I mean we haven’t hung out or ever really talked to each other.”

“Yeah really. Remember we do have a couple of classes together. I see how you are. It’s kind of cute.” I blushed and he laughed. “But hey if you ever want to just hang out, can I have your number and well I’ll text you and what not.”
Still stunned I just shook my head and mumbled out my number. “Thanks. I’ll see you around Kay.”

I watched as he walked off still too stunned to even comprehend what was going on. Walking home I couldn’t help but wonder if he was just joking or if he really was serious and if I’d hear from him. My phone buzzed in my pocket causing me to almost drop my books.

With sweaty palms I turned it on to see that my grandma had texted me. Great she figured out to text. I seriously was hoping she wouldn’t. Of course she was always a bit too concerned for comfort. I guess that could be because of what happened to my mom.

Sighing as I walked through the door and I knew immediately that I would get a lecture from her because I was late from school. Trying my best to be quite I tried to sneak up to my room, but of course my grandma was like a blood hound and was on my toes before I knew it.

“Where have you been young lady?” Her stern voice made me cringe and sigh. “You were supposed to be home a half hour ago and don’t go on and tell me you stayed late at school to catch up on your homework.”

“Grandma, seriously it’s a half hour! It’s not like I’m out getting knocked up or some stupid crap!” Throwing my hands up in the air I was beginning to get fed up with all of her crap. “Just please shut up!”

Her mouth hung open slightly as the fury began to build up. “Kaybree Ann Reed you do not ever talk to me like that ever again!” She pointed to my door. “Now go to your room!”
Laughing I shook my head. “I can’t wait till I get out of here.” I mumbled under my breath just low enough so she couldn’t hear it.

Stacking my books on my desk I sprawled out on the floor. My phone buzzed once again in my pocket. Sitting up I turned on the screen to see an unknown number displayed across the screen followed by, hey, it’s Lucus. Smiling and giddy I replied. Maybe there was hope in this miserable life after all.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

When I'm Gone: Chapter 1.11

Okay so now you will all see which song inspired this generation. Red - Hymn for the Missing:

You know you never realize just how fast kids grow up. It seemed just like yesterday that I was changing her diapers and teaching her to walk and talk. I watched from the sidewalk as she climbed onto the bus for her first day of first grade. This was going to be more difficult that I had thought. My mom had been going up and down with the idea of moving away, which I of course didn’t like one bit.

I may have a piece of Ryan with me each and every day, but call me a prude I don’t want leave. I don’t want to make him think I’ve forgotten and moved on. My mom tells me every day that he would want me to move on and find someone for Kaybree, but I just don’t have the heart to do it. I felt like I would be cheating and mocking the image he made.

I still love him even if it has been six years. I swallowed hard as I glanced back the house and see my mom standing in the window. She knows what goes through my head it’s almost scary, but there’s one thing that always crosses it that I know for sure she doesn’t know about.

Walking back to the house my mom stops just as I walk in the front door. “They grow up so fast don’t they? I still remember your first day of school.” She smiled at me as I forced a smile.

“They sure do mom, but I think I’m going to go write some more on my book okay?” Her smile faded and shook her head. She looked almost sad.

Grabbing my laptop I opened my files and let my fingers fly across the keyboard. I never really let anyone read my work. It’s personal to me up until I release it. Call it the jitters I don’t know exactly. I gnawed gently on the side of my cheek as I slumped in my chair. This wasn’t working anymore. None of it was. I was being defeated by the demons that always lingered nearby.

Taking in a deep breath I opened up a new file pouring my heart and soul into it. Before I knew it heard Kaybree in the next room. I hadn’t realized that much time had gone by.

“MOM!” she came barreling into my room with a wide smile on my face. “Guess what! Guess what!” she jumped up and down as I shut my laptop.

“What is it sweety?” I took her into my lap and sat her on my knee.

“School was awesome! We made pictures and I got to meet all my new classmates. There’s this girl her name is Cindy and I think we are going to be best friends. We sit next to each other in class and we even sat together at lunch too!” I chuckled as I ruffled her hair.

“I’m so glad you’re making friends already.” She became quite as a confused look went across her face.

“Mommy, I have a question?” She glanced up at me as I put her back down and stood up. My legs were beginning to cramp from sitting down too long.
“Of course hun.” I smiled slightly for reassurance.

“There was a man today that picked Cindy up. She said he was her dad.” She looked up at me with curious eyes. “Why don’t I have a daddy mom?” I shut my eyes to stop the sudden sensation of crying. I knew she would ask eventually, but I didn’t think she would ask so soon. I motioned for her to sit on the edge of the bed with me.

“Kaybree, honey something bad happened to your dad when you were still in mommy’s belly.” I got up from the edge of the bed to rummage through one of the desk drawers and pulled out a picture. Ryan and I are smiling faces shown mockingly at me and depicted a time of happiness. This was one of our engagement pictures. Turning around I handed it to her.

“Your father’s name was Ryan. He was a wonderful man, and he would have been so proud of you Kaybree. You are everything he wanted in a daughter.” I sniffled as I held back more tears.

“Mommy, don’t cry.” She jumped up still holding the picture and hugged me. “You still have me.” I swallowed hard.
“I know honey, I love you.” She squeezed my neck just before I put her down.
“I love you too mommy. I forgot, grandma said I needed to come help her make cookies!” She placed the picture down on my bed and skipped out of the doorway.

Longingly I looked at the picture on my bed. Picking it up I placed it on the edge of my desk. For so long I kept it in that drawer hoping it would keep all the memories at bay, but of course it didn’t. I shut my eyes and let the tears come and the pain floods my heart once again.

“Mommy!” Kaybree’s voice echoed up the stairs. “Come get some cookies!!!” Wiping away the tears I sucked in a steady breath. I needed to be strong for just a little bit longer for her.

Walking down the stairs I knew instantly my mom knew something was up from my composure. “Kaybee, why don’t you take some of those cookies we made and head up stairs to watch some cartoons while your mother and I make some dinner?”
“Okay.” Happily she grabbed a handful of cookies and made her way up the stairs.

“What’s wrong Luc?” She pulled some ingredients from the fridge as I washed up the rest of the dishes.

“She asked me where her dad was.” My mother went silent. “I told her something happened to him but not what. I don’t need my six year old dwelling on traumatizing things.”

Drying them off I placed them in the cupboards and turned to see my mom staring at me.
“Are you alright?” Shaking my head yes I plopped down at the kitchen table. She grabbed my hand and squeezed it reassuringly. “She needs you Luc.” She could sense it now, which scared me even more.

As we sat down for dinner Kaybree told us about the rest of her day, but the horrible gnawing feeling in the back of my head kept me distracted. Did she really need a nut job of a mother who was always on the verge of being pushed over the edge? This was in fact the anniversary of the first day we met. I couldn’t dwell on it. I just couldn’t, not right now.

The night came to a close as I tucked Kaybree in her bed. I sat there for the longest time watching her sleep. I’ve tried giving her everything I could, but somehow I still felt it wasn’t good enough. Closing my eyes I shook my head lightly and clicked the door shut behind me. It was time.

Now as I sit here on the beach on our six year anniversary, with Kaybree safe at home snug in her bed I know it needs to be done. I left a note on my mother’s nightstand just before I left. She never understood. I’ll never be able to be the mother Kaybree deserves. I’m always off wondering of what could have been instead of what it is. I lost everything. I am an empty shell of nothing and I don’t even deserve to be alive. I should have died with Ryan.

I sighed as I gazed up into the never ending sky. Saying my last good-byes I stood up and stepped into the water cold grasp. Walking slowly I fell forward and at first it felt like a million knives were being pushed into my skin and oddly it became a peaceful sensation. I closed my eyes welcoming deaths embrace and the hopes that Ryan will be waiting for me on the other side. I felt the urge to breath grow and I gladly said my last words to myself. “I will find you again.” I saw as Ryan reached for me with a smile upon his face and soon I was in his arms once again.